Sutherland Family Pictures

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"Welcome everyone and thank you all for making the trip out to Eagan! Being able to look around and see all the family, and your growing families, is truly something special.

Before we get into the stories, we have to give a massive thank you to the reunion committee who made this weekend happen. The whole idea for this reunion actually started as a slightly drunken conversation at a cousin's wedding. We were sitting around reminiscing about the great memories we all had of the big family reunion we had 30+ years ago in Wisconsin Dells, and we realized it was time to make it happen again.

To help put this presentation together, the committee reached out to the ten eldest statesmen of the family—the siblings. They were given one simple assignment: send a story. There were even joking threats that if nobody participated, the committee was going to provide their own stories.

Well, apparently those threats didn’t carry much weight, because it was absolute crickets from almost everyone. Thankfully, one brave soul came through with an email. We'll leave it up to you to figure out who submitted it. But considering what was actually sent, the rest of the siblings might wish the committee had just made things up.

So, straight from the source, here are a few words on what it was really like growing up in this family:

First, we have Carol. Apparently, Carol made everyone clean the house from top to bottom every single Sunday. It was torture, and nobody could go out to play until everything was spotless. To this day, the author of this email points out that while they don't vacuum their vacuum on a regular basis, or line up everybody's shoes before they go to bed... Carol absolutely still does.

Then there’s Linda. Linda made Goulash every single afternoon of their young lives. What started out as a tasty dish with hamburger, noodles, and cheese eventually devolved into plain macaroni with a cold can of tomato soup poured over it. To this day, our storyteller is not a red sauce fan, and blames Linda’s culinary abilities entirely.

We can't forget Bruce and Brad. According to the email, they were just evil big brothers. They used to rip the heads off dolls and throw them up into the trees in the yard. If that wasn't enough, they'd whip the girls with the orange Hot Wheels tracks if they didn't follow orders. But apparently, they were at least smart enough to know when their reign of terror was about to catch up with them. Whenever they knew they were in trouble and about to get the belt, they would stuff cooking pans down their pants to soften the blow! With a rap sheet like that, it's really no wonder you two were grounded your entire childhood.

And finally, the kitchen arena with Brenda and Carla. The three girls were forced to do dishes all the time. But the author of this email always hid upstairs or in the bathroom because being in the kitchen with Brenda and Carla was legitimately dangerous. There was yelling, screaming, and flying silverware—and if memory serves correctly, Carla was actually stabbed in the back or the ear by a flying fork.

The email ended by noting that there are plenty of other stories, but those were the only ones PG enough to share with the group.

But honestly, that chaos perfectly captures who we are. We might drive each other absolutely crazy, but we are always there for each other, traveling from all over the map for surprise birthday parties and family events just to cheer each other on.

We always have the absolute best time when we see each other. The competitive nature of this family truly shines at events like the Kolskey Days softball tournaments. We are fiercely competitive on the field early in the tournament, but we are undeniably more competitive during the after-game drinking events. Unfortunately, those amazing drinking skills usually completely ruin the team's performance on Day 2.

Our golf trips follow the exact same playbook: we quickly realize that keeping score is vastly overrated, but our drinking competitions are always in peak form.

Then there are the trips that test our survival skills. Like cramming into a shared RV for a race at Talladega Speedway, where we quickly learned that spending two days inside that tight of a space with this family is exactly 2 days too long. Or the football game down in Daytona, where one of the siblings tested the limits of the expiration dates on mini airplane bottles of Bailey's. Those things had to be 40+ years old... which perfectly explains why we completely lost that sibling for a few hours that night.

Through the flying forks, the terrible goulash, the pans in the pants, the brutal hangovers, and the missing siblings, we are constantly making lasting memories. We have the most fun when we get this whole group together, and we hope this weekend is something that everyone remembers for years to come.

Let’s go make some new stories."